It's never a bad moment to shed a tear

Realization is a two way street. It can lead to happiness and excitement, or it could lead to doubt and sadness. Today I had a realization. Whether it was the happy one or the sad one, I am not going to convey. But I believe realizations are a gift and should be thought out and acted on if appropriate. I have been strangely emotional lately. Whether its lack of sleep, hormones, or I’ve just become a softy, I have cried almost daily. I cry at almost all movies. I cry at things people say. I cry at cute tv commercials. I cry when I see old people holding hands. I cry when I see the love of a mother. I cry when I see people with special needs. I cry and cry and cry. But that to me is not a bad thing. I believe I am taking after my granddad. He turned into a softy as he became older as well. He would cry when he saw us, he would cry as he would wave goodbye, he would cry when I played my harp, and he would cry as he was talking to me. The passion and love my granddad showed is greatly missed within my life. Now I cannot even think of my sweet granddad without tearing up. My realization has come. I have made up my mind. Life is going to change a bit. It will be hard but I know a special part of my granddad lives within my heart to guide me through. I may cry but I am strong. I may fall but I will always get back up. I may be sad but I know a smile is just around the corner. Life takes its twists and turns but that is called living. And I plan to live to my fullest. Cry away America, there is no shame in it.

Techno-logic

HELLO TECHNOLOGY! I have spent the past week on a cruise ship with no internet connection and cell phone service. While I thoroughly enjoyed my time away from technology (Facebook, cell phone, twitter, blogging, etc.) I felt strangely cut off from the world. Now that I am back in reality I am too afraid to open my facebook and email. Its to much of a hassle to respond to everyday life. I felt like I got a taste of what life was like before technology became a dependency. I will admit it, the less technology I had in my life the more stress free I felt. I would have loved to live in an era with no makeup, technology, and confusing hair tools. Where everything is natural!! Everyone accepting you for who you are not what you have or how you look. Sadly, I think those days are gone. The reason I was away from all technology was because I was on an Alaskan Disney Cruise. I thought it was going to be awful, I mean who wants to vacation to 50 degree weather?! Well I was thoroughly proved wrong. Definitely in my top 5 vacations! Everything was so green and gorgeous. One day when I’m filthy rich I will have a vacation home in Juneau, Alaska! (Ha me filthy rich….not going to happen) To make a long description short, it was amazing. I love my family and the time we all got to spend together. July is almost over and I still have plenty of things to cross off on my summer bucketlist! GET READY!! Live life in individual moments, soak in each detail, life will then become enjoyable. Goodbye to the high living of cruise life and hello reality. LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE. 

Miracles

  Jumbled. That is how I feel. I knew change was coming but now that its here I am not ready, far from ready. Tonight I saw the movie 17 Miracles. It’s a movie on the stories and miracles that happened during the journey of the Willie Handcart Company to Salt Lake. As I quietly sat through the movie I was touched on so many levels. There were miracles of love, not just any love like deep true love. There were miracles of healing. There were miracles of faith. I sat viewing all their hardships, seeing their pain in a padded comfy theater seat. Tears were undeniable. Who am I to live in Zion? There pioneers sacrificed their professions, their families, their possessions, their very lives to come to Zion to be with the saints. I could never imagine seeing friends, family, and neighbors drop dead because of harsh conditions, starvation, and exhaustion. Am I living my life in a way those saints would approve? I want to have faith as theirs. I want to have whole hearted devoted love like theirs. I want to have dedication and determination like theirs. I want to truly know as they did. I believe in miracles. They happen everyday and I am to naive and worldly to see them. I pray we may each open our eyes to see the daily miracles in our lives. Are we looking? Are we actively seeking? Be a person worthy of miracles, our scary worldly world could use more good people.

To Sink Or Not To Sink

As life takes its twists and turns one must learn to come out stronger. You get knocked down, you get beat, and you want to give up. It is at that point you must decide whether you will sink or swim. If you sink maybe you will get to see the fascinating sea creatures explore the deep dark places of the ocean blue. BUT you will eventually run out of air…AND SINK PERMANENTLY!!! (Dramatic, I know!) If you choose to swim you get to see the sun, moon, and the stars. You can swim to the different places and explore new cultures. My life hasn’t always been peaches and cream, in fact a lot of times it’s more like sour milk and pickles. Life has brought hurt, pain, sadness, heartache, tears, injury, illness, and exhaustion. But one thing I learned is never focus on the bad. Life has ALSO brought happiness, laughs, smiles, tears of joy, content, pride, excitement, and pure bliss! My friends, if there is on thing I have learned from my hardships is if you focus on the bad you will only continue on that path. If you find the good in even the worst situations you will always come out on top. We all need to more like the movie character Pollyanna and play the “Glad game”. So my dear readers remember, its summer, lets take a swim!

Ps. Kinda random but one of my new favorite songs: 

blingin rings, surprise kisses, and love for mothers

My favorite part of a wedding is when the father gets to share one last dance with his daughter before passing her off to her new husband. I always get so choked up watching the father look tenderly at his daughter, obviously reminiscing upon her growing up in his head. Then the excited new husband gets to sweep her off her feet to finish off the dance. I have always coveted the happiness you can see in newly weds eyes. Each of them knowing that they are official each other’s, no one else’s. Happy in the comfort of knowing the other loves them without a doubt. Love is powerful. Yes, I will openly admit to being a romantic. Romance novels, romantic comedies, and love poems always make me swoon. For me it is the unexpected affectionate touch, the unforeseen kiss, or the random wink that mean the most. The unplanned and unexpected show you they truly care for you. One of my all time favorite quotes on love is, “Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.’” To me true love is being atypical, spontaneous, and even a little crazy at times. While I feel nowhere near ready for marriage and have no plans of getting married in the next few years, I still look forward to the new happy times of married life. Remember to show love to those you care about, you never know when they may be gone. I think its funny how we never know we care about someone so much until they are gone. Lets break that trend, remember, “Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, that’s why it's called the Present” Today is Mothers Day, Happy Mother’s Day to all you wonderful mothers, but especially mine!

I love you mom, I always have and I always will. Remember dear readers: there is no love in this world unless we show it. Happy Mothers Day! 

My Passionate Tears

I am a softy. When it comes to happy endings, sweet reunions, unwanted goodbyes, death, and dogs I cant help but cry. I have probably cried in just about every dog movie that has come out (My Dog Skip, Marley and Me, Fox and the Hound, Lassie Come Home, and of course Hachi) My most recent cause of crying was in the movie Source Code, yes, that is the action packed train one. However, despite the action, my tears were free flowing. I used to get embarrassed when I cried at small things such as 90 year old couples still showing love, cute movies, or soldiers reuniting with their families but not anymore. As I sat in Source Code I did not hide my tears, I let them each run down my cheek. It made me think of all the times I have cried, whether it was because of hurt feelings, happiness, pain, goodbyes, dogs, undying love, or happy endings, each of those reasons that brought about tears are my passions. I am a very passionate person. Is it wrong to strive for happiness, undying love, or a happy ending? I cry because of my passion. So yes, I cry because of happiness. Yes, I cry because I love love. Yes, I cry because I want a dog soooo badly. Yes, I cry in movies. Yes, I cry at funerals. Yes, I cry at goodbyes. Yes, I cry. I cry, and I love it. So all you tear shedders of the world be proud. You show emotion, you show passion.  The world could use more passionate tears; to often we are caught in the hurried pace of life trying to find the quick fix or easy money. Find your passions, your loves and go for them. And don’t be afraid to cry along the way.

Love 364 days

Yes I know. This was not posted on February 14, the day of love. There are methods to my madness! I am not going to lie, I love Valentines Day and while I have never actually have had a legit Valentine, but that doesn’t change my view of the holiday! I think it’s absolutely adorable when guys give their lovers flowers, balloons, or especially chocolates (Lindor chocolate preferably J) The girls reactions are the best. Not that I just creep around all day spying on everyone’s love fests….however, the girls faces are the best! While I do love this holiday I also hate it. I hate how harsh girls are to themselves on this day. Just because they don’t have some guy delivering them flowers and such doesn’t mean they aren’t loved! Hearing things like, “I woke up this morning crying,” or “love is stupid, it should die” or yes even, “Im a loner…and I always will be!” make me wonder if we understand the true meaning of the holiday. 

Yes it is most definitely the holiday of love but I believe it’s a little more general, it’s a holiday meant for recognizing all things we love! Family, friends, animals, cars, crafts, music, art…whatever we love we should show our love for it!  So I would like to take this time and show my love, for the things I love!

Family: I love you all with all of my heart! I could not imagine being apart of any other family! You have all had such a major impact in my life! Always supporting me in my new adventures and staying positive! Thanks for putting up with my weird personality and me! I love you to the moon and back!

Friends: What would I do without you?! I love thinking about all the crazy, funny, sad, unforgettable times we have had! The great late night talks, the spastic adventures, and of course the heart to hearts! I care about you all so much!! Whenever in need of someone, I have your back!!

Track: Thank you for pushing me to my potential! I feel like I am just hitting the outer circles of that potential but I absolutely love you and am willing to work to reach the center! I never thought I would love this sport so much but I have grown to love it unconditionally! While I am still very new to it and I honestly don’t know what good times are, or what certain terms are, I am learning! Thanks for helping me gain the confidence in myself to do hard things.

Dogs: yes….I love dogs. Although I never had a dog, I have learned a lot from that experience. While I have used 11:11 wishes and birthday candle wishes wishing for a dog as long as I can remember, I learned something very important! Having a dog has been a lifelong wish. I know that one day I will have a dog because I want it soooooo bad! If you want something bad enough you will be willing to put in the work required to achieve your wishes! Dogs and I have a special connection, I have cried in every dog movie known to man, from Lassie Come Home to My Dog Skip. Dogs of the world, I love you! I will one day own one of you!

The Gospel: I honestly have no idea where I would be without you. I owe you everything, quite literally everything good in my life. My love is unconditional. 

I love, love! Yes, I believe in love! Lets all try to remember love should be shown all year not just once! We all deserve to know we are loved! Just know, you are. Love is in the air….all year round!! XOXO