I Like Turtles

You know, I used to be a fairly decent blogger. Well, as you can tell I have not exactly been the most consistent blogger in the blogging world but that is due to the lack of excitement within my life. Looking back on the past few weeks there is not one instance where I can giggle to myself and think, wow that was crazy. Then it hit me, like the cliché saying, “like a ton of bricks.” I am a boring turtle. 

Me being a turtle...."I like Turtles"

Yes this picture is pretty pathetic and embarrassing HA shows you how much I care. I have been wasting my days away with studying, eating, running, Mac photo booth, movies, and more eating. What has become of me? Where did my sense of socialism go? Yes its true, I am still doing some adjusting to some fairly recent changes that have occurred but I have decided I am about to do some more serious changing. Changes like dancing in the rain, playing endless hours of Plinko at Nickel City for old time sakes, Slumber Parties, crazy dancing, and dare I say it…..getting ready. Yes I am actually going to do my hair and wear makeup this week. Although my time in Hermit cave Jefferson 36 has been relaxing, boring, and SO unexciting, I think its time to blossom and spread my wings. It’s getting cold here in dreary Provo and if I don’t blossom now I may just get buried in snow! So I raise my cup of cocoa to a new era of Lauren. Cheers to all my friends who are about to get a unexpected dose of my crazy personality! Remember you choose who, and how you are you. Love it and live it! 

Jordan Taylor Brown

February 2011, I met one of my best friends. As I look back on the last few months I realize how much I am going to miss him but almost instantly that feeling of hurt is healed because I know what he is going to do is the right thing. Best friends are hard to come by. But sometimes it felt like the two of us were two peas in a pod. Sometimes we would say the same things, make the same strange voices, or do the same obnoxious face like we were tuned into each others channels, completely on the same wavelength.  A simple smile, a chuckle, or even a handshake from him could make my day.  I love to laugh and I love being happy. I find so much joy in being around those people who bring about those feelings and actions. If I had a dime for every time I laughed with Jord…my gosh I would be living life large! We used to take walks, not just any kind of walks, like 7 mile walks. I mapped one out once and it was about 7.5 miles. These walks were always eventful, full of interesting conversation, tons of laughter, and crazy adventures! I truly came to understand his nickname “monkey” when he would constantly jump up on to anything that he could see. Through these walks I got to know the real Jord, I got to know his sweetness, his non-argumentative nature, his sense of humor, his strong sense for the gospel, his love of temples, his genuine compliments, his crazy voices and of course his love for volleyball!  Through the volleyball games, the long drives, the family dinners, the walks, the dates, and the tears I know without a doubt Jordan Taylor Brown has changed my life for the better. Who am I going to call when I have a bad day? Who am I going to make strange voices and faces with? I know that I will survive only because I know he is where he is supposed to be, preaching the gospel in El Salvador and Belize. He has inspired me to be better and stronger within the Gospel. Jordan Taylor I make you a promise while you are off serving the Lord and growing in the Gospel in El Salvador ,I will be working hard and doing the same in Provo, Utah. You are simply the best. I am so proud of my best friend. God Speed Elder Brown.  <3

Jord took a ballet class in college...haha my thoughts on this are obvious ;)

Mission call came!

Going to El Salvador and Belize!!

hence the monkey nickname :)

He picked me a bouquet of flowers one morning for breakfast.

My first off roading experience....CRAZY

Us.

We Might Not Have Any Money

Money. The world’s most stupidest (yes I said stupidest) invention. Granted if you have loads of it you aren’t too opposed to this invention, but if you are like me you loath the very idea of it. Whatever happened to trading?? Within this past year I quite literally understand the meaning of the phrase “poor college student”. One weekend I didn’t even have money to do my laundry…yes that’s like $1.50, six quarters. If it wasn’t for a kind hearted friend I would have had to wear my dirty laundry. After that incident I kind of felt helpless, I can’t even pay for my laundry?! Kind of pitiful, but wait it gets better. This fall I have to pay for a lot more than I did in previous years. I will be paying for housing, food, books, and as much tuition as I can with the money I have left. This worries me because I know that I am going to be saving every penny I have just to be able to pay for housing!! How am I going to pay for books or even food?! I have been stressing over this the entire summer. While normal summers are spent in blissful laziness this summer has been dedicated to money, work work work. Even with all the working that has happened I don’t have near enough money. If I had a lot of money my life would be different. I would be going to California this weekend, I would probably have a better tan cause I wouldn’t be indoors working all day, I would probably have those brown leather Sperry’s I’ve wanted for over a year, I probably would have to most beautifully detailed scrapbook in the state, and I would buy a new car (I don’t think mines gonna last much longer).  However…If I had money I wouldn’t understand its true value, I wouldn’t be working hard and spending wisely, I wouldn’t have made all these new amazing friends at work, I wouldn’t go through certain experiences that teach me and make me grow as a person. If we were to get everything we wanted nothing would be special. While I know there are going to be many stressful, moneyless weeks next year, some weeks where I won’t be able to eat as much as I would like, or even have to stay home some weekends because I can’t pay for the activity but that is ok. Life is so much easier when you look at the good than the bad. Just play the “glad game” (reference to Polyanna) Find the good in each situation not the bad, then life truly finds its happiness. As Ingrid Michaelson says "We might not have any money but we've got our love to pay the bills." Life is hard but keep lovin' and smilin' 

Techno-logic

HELLO TECHNOLOGY! I have spent the past week on a cruise ship with no internet connection and cell phone service. While I thoroughly enjoyed my time away from technology (Facebook, cell phone, twitter, blogging, etc.) I felt strangely cut off from the world. Now that I am back in reality I am too afraid to open my facebook and email. Its to much of a hassle to respond to everyday life. I felt like I got a taste of what life was like before technology became a dependency. I will admit it, the less technology I had in my life the more stress free I felt. I would have loved to live in an era with no makeup, technology, and confusing hair tools. Where everything is natural!! Everyone accepting you for who you are not what you have or how you look. Sadly, I think those days are gone. The reason I was away from all technology was because I was on an Alaskan Disney Cruise. I thought it was going to be awful, I mean who wants to vacation to 50 degree weather?! Well I was thoroughly proved wrong. Definitely in my top 5 vacations! Everything was so green and gorgeous. One day when I’m filthy rich I will have a vacation home in Juneau, Alaska! (Ha me filthy rich….not going to happen) To make a long description short, it was amazing. I love my family and the time we all got to spend together. July is almost over and I still have plenty of things to cross off on my summer bucketlist! GET READY!! Live life in individual moments, soak in each detail, life will then become enjoyable. Goodbye to the high living of cruise life and hello reality. LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE. 

blingin rings, surprise kisses, and love for mothers

My favorite part of a wedding is when the father gets to share one last dance with his daughter before passing her off to her new husband. I always get so choked up watching the father look tenderly at his daughter, obviously reminiscing upon her growing up in his head. Then the excited new husband gets to sweep her off her feet to finish off the dance. I have always coveted the happiness you can see in newly weds eyes. Each of them knowing that they are official each other’s, no one else’s. Happy in the comfort of knowing the other loves them without a doubt. Love is powerful. Yes, I will openly admit to being a romantic. Romance novels, romantic comedies, and love poems always make me swoon. For me it is the unexpected affectionate touch, the unforeseen kiss, or the random wink that mean the most. The unplanned and unexpected show you they truly care for you. One of my all time favorite quotes on love is, “Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.’” To me true love is being atypical, spontaneous, and even a little crazy at times. While I feel nowhere near ready for marriage and have no plans of getting married in the next few years, I still look forward to the new happy times of married life. Remember to show love to those you care about, you never know when they may be gone. I think its funny how we never know we care about someone so much until they are gone. Lets break that trend, remember, “Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, that’s why it's called the Present” Today is Mothers Day, Happy Mother’s Day to all you wonderful mothers, but especially mine!

I love you mom, I always have and I always will. Remember dear readers: there is no love in this world unless we show it. Happy Mothers Day! 

Sincerely, The New Me.

I don’t open up to people. The truth is I rarely tell people my deepest desires, lowest times, or stories of many tearful nights. I have assumed the role of listener, I feel like I am a good listener, while I always can’t always relate I can always provide a shoulder to lean on or sincere advise. While my past has held many sleepless nights, shattered dreams, and streaming tears I cannot complain. Recently I have been thinking back through my life, while I am only 19 years old, I was surprised how much there was to look back on. I came to a sad realization. I have been going through life on my own. I avoid help, kindness, and advise from those whom are willing and wanting to help me through my life’s journey. I am determined to work on being more personable and open up to others. To kick off this new life of “open book” I want to share some of my dreams with you (bare with me I’m a helpless romantic). I want to fall desperately, head over heels, sleeplessly in love with someone who thinks they love me 10X more than I love them, someone who will be fine with being dirt poor just as long as they know we have each other’s love to carry us through to the next day. I want a dog, heaven help me if I fall deeply in love with a man who is a dog hater…oh wait I wont, I could never get over that! I want a house with flowers in my garden, I love flowers; flowers bring me untold happiness (especially tulips future husband!) I want to run the Boston marathon, yes; I am reaching for the stars! I want children, to love something more than your own life has always sounded appealing to me! As I am listing just a few of my many dreams for this lifetime I am smiling. Have you smiled today? Enjoy your life, let others in, life is a journey not a ride, remember, sometimes we have to hike up mountains to get to the pretty views.

My Passionate Tears

I am a softy. When it comes to happy endings, sweet reunions, unwanted goodbyes, death, and dogs I cant help but cry. I have probably cried in just about every dog movie that has come out (My Dog Skip, Marley and Me, Fox and the Hound, Lassie Come Home, and of course Hachi) My most recent cause of crying was in the movie Source Code, yes, that is the action packed train one. However, despite the action, my tears were free flowing. I used to get embarrassed when I cried at small things such as 90 year old couples still showing love, cute movies, or soldiers reuniting with their families but not anymore. As I sat in Source Code I did not hide my tears, I let them each run down my cheek. It made me think of all the times I have cried, whether it was because of hurt feelings, happiness, pain, goodbyes, dogs, undying love, or happy endings, each of those reasons that brought about tears are my passions. I am a very passionate person. Is it wrong to strive for happiness, undying love, or a happy ending? I cry because of my passion. So yes, I cry because of happiness. Yes, I cry because I love love. Yes, I cry because I want a dog soooo badly. Yes, I cry in movies. Yes, I cry at funerals. Yes, I cry at goodbyes. Yes, I cry. I cry, and I love it. So all you tear shedders of the world be proud. You show emotion, you show passion.  The world could use more passionate tears; to often we are caught in the hurried pace of life trying to find the quick fix or easy money. Find your passions, your loves and go for them. And don’t be afraid to cry along the way.

I will not say goodbye

Today it really hit me that freshman year is coming to an end. As me and one of my besties were driving to our new favorite yogurt place (yogurtland) we realized that this was her last night in Provo.  What am I going to do without her? I quite literally have not gone a day without seeing her almost this whole school year! This made me think back on all the amazing memories we have shared, the fun, the sad, the hilarious, and the scary. Ry, you are a one in a million friend, I could not imagine freshman year without you, thanks for making my year unforgettable, I am so excited for many more years to come being our crazy selves! 

  I am not good at good byes, there is never a really good, happy way to say them, and I love being happy. But unfortunately they are inevitable. I wish I had the time to write personal thank yous to all of you, unfortunately I cant, I have to study American Heritage, bleh. So my friends please read the following: Thank you for your personal example you have been in my life. I truly have loved getting to know you and creating fun lasting freshman year memories with you! The only way I can truly express the way I feel about you and this year is through song, this one is for you:

 I can't stand the thought of not seeing you all to say goodbye personally, I wish they would have a Helaman Halls yearbook day or something! Just remember.....

Remember my friends LIVE. LAUGH. and LOVE. The world could use a little more of you, shine bright like I know you can!