I'm a Belieber

What is up with Justin Bieber. I mean…. what gives him the right to release a Christmas song mid-October. Ohhhhh wait he is Justin Bieber! Duh. I will be the first to admit, I listen to Bieber quite frequently, I attended his concert, follow him on Twitter, watch his movie (often) and keep tabs on his celebrity gossip. Am I obsessed….NO….well maybe a little. Guys always complain about how us girls obsess with him because they think its “not even legal to like him”, along with various other reasons. Well boys news flash we really know you are just jealous of his dashing good looks, adorable lyrics, and amazing hair. That is why I have created the…

5 Step Guide On Things We Wish Guys Would Learn From JB

Spoken by: JB

Lesson 1. Speak Your Mind

Girls really like it when you tell them how you are feeling and just saying it how it is.

“You know you love me, I know you care Just shout whenever, and I'll be there
You want my love, you want my heart and we will never ever ever be apart”

(Song: Baby)

Lesson 2. We like confidence

We like it when guys have confidence and a little dash of somethin’ somethin’

“Let me show you what your missin’.. Paradise, with me you’re winning girl
You don’t have to roll the dice”

(Song: Eenie Meenie)

Lesson 3. Keep us happy and we’ll keep you happy

If you give us little sweet thoughtful surprises…or just wait on us hand or foot…we will keep you smiling

“I'd wait on you forever and a day, hand and foot Your world is my world
Yeah Ain't no way you're ever gon' get any less than you should
cause baby You smile, I smile.”

(Song: You Smile, I Smile)

Lesson 4. Follow Your Heart

When you follow your heart, it will almost always lead you to something amazing.

“Hey love, the Wise Men followed a star, The way I followed my heart, And it led me to a miracle.” (Song: Mistletoe)

Lesson 5. Be There

You never realize how amazing something is until its gone. Don’t let go unless you know for sure.

“Cause this life's too long and this love's too strong So baby, know for sure that I'll never let you go” (Song: Never Let You Go)

Dear JB,

Thank you for putting guys in their place, if only we could have more Justin Biebers in this world. Until the men catch on and learn from these tips, I guess you can keep all the millions of girl’s hearts you have already won to yourself. I am a belieber.  

I Like Turtles

You know, I used to be a fairly decent blogger. Well, as you can tell I have not exactly been the most consistent blogger in the blogging world but that is due to the lack of excitement within my life. Looking back on the past few weeks there is not one instance where I can giggle to myself and think, wow that was crazy. Then it hit me, like the cliché saying, “like a ton of bricks.” I am a boring turtle. 

Me being a turtle...."I like Turtles"

Yes this picture is pretty pathetic and embarrassing HA shows you how much I care. I have been wasting my days away with studying, eating, running, Mac photo booth, movies, and more eating. What has become of me? Where did my sense of socialism go? Yes its true, I am still doing some adjusting to some fairly recent changes that have occurred but I have decided I am about to do some more serious changing. Changes like dancing in the rain, playing endless hours of Plinko at Nickel City for old time sakes, Slumber Parties, crazy dancing, and dare I say it…..getting ready. Yes I am actually going to do my hair and wear makeup this week. Although my time in Hermit cave Jefferson 36 has been relaxing, boring, and SO unexciting, I think its time to blossom and spread my wings. It’s getting cold here in dreary Provo and if I don’t blossom now I may just get buried in snow! So I raise my cup of cocoa to a new era of Lauren. Cheers to all my friends who are about to get a unexpected dose of my crazy personality! Remember you choose who, and how you are you. Love it and live it! 

Tis the season to be...free from writers block!

I feel extra pressure to make this blog post good considering my last one was sort of in the middle of a melt down. Writers block. A term I have randomly often heard, especially going through countless honor English classes. Yes I experienced it. Yes I am over it. AND Yes I hope to never, ever experience it again. I do not wish it upon anyone. For those of you who may have had the unfortunately pleasure to work with me this summer may have discovered my deep love for Christmas music. I secretly listen to Christmas music throughout the year (don’t tell my dad!).  I have also discovered that it is my cure to writers block. Just stick in Mariah Carey’s Christmas CD and it’s smooth sailing from there.  

While experiencing the all to unpleasant “block” I discovered many new, enlightening things about myself:

1.     My love for Christmas music was WAY deeper than I thought.

2.     I am a fairly decent cook (I haven’t starved yet, YAY!)

3.     I have turned a complete softy and cry almost everyday about things like abuse dog commercials, cute old people being lovey dovey, kind words, music and yes…even in touching school classes

4.     I am where I am supposed to be

5.     I still am a fairly decently consistent bowler

6.     I am majoring in the correct major, HOORAY!

7.     It’s hard to completely miss my best friend when I know he is in the right place, doing the right thing

8.     I feel no need or pressure to be constantly doing something (unlike Freshman year and I LOVE it)

9.     I am happy, because doing the right things, and always striving to be a good person has made me completely happy, happy, happy!

10.  I still want a dog

As I proofread my post, I can’t help but chuckle that I am finally settling into the real me, no additives or preservatives, and I could not be happier. I only wish me “settling” could’ve happened sooner! In short, everyday I try to live my life right, my life as a whole gets more perfect than I could’ve ever imagined. When I think of Christmas three things come to mind: Happiness, laughter, and my Savoir, Jesus Christ. As I do what I should those three words happen on the daily!  Its like I am living in the Christmas season each day. Sooo I guess all I really have to say is…..Merry Christmas!

Unorganized Emotions and Brain

There is nothing more frustrating for a writer than to sit and stare at a blank word document. No ideas. No thoughts. No inspiration. Usually my blog posts are inspired by events or thoughts that occur within my jumbled and all to unorganized brain.  While much has happened (moved out, school began, new friends, cooking, adventures, tears) not one thing has truly inspired me to write. Its been about 15 days since my last post and I guess I just feel confused.  I have so many emotions tugging at my sleeves sometimes I feel stretched in all directions. I have never been happier in my life than yet I could probably sit down and cry, cry, cry because I hurt so badly inside. I have some things to sort out and think about. Please excuse this all to unwitty and confusing post. I do not feel my usual self tonight.

“A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.”  ~Charlotte Brontë

I Am Beautiful

A few months ago I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize the person standing in front of me. Behind the dyed hair, eye shadow, prissy clothes, and lip gloss I could see my blue eyes. As I did a thorough examination I realized that this wasn’t me and this definitely wasn’t who I wanted to be. I took another step closer and looked really deep into my eyes, as if to somehow take a look into my soul. It was then I realized who I was and am. Behind the frills and makeup was a blue eyed, goofy, loud laughing, life-loving girl. There is nothing more embarrassing than realizing you have been trying to be something your not. While also trying to bring my “natural side” on my outer looks I am also trying to makeover my innards. I have never been happier. My hair is back to its strange reddish/blonde/brown color I hardly wear anything but mascara and have found so much inner contentment with the way I look and feel. A wise woman once said, “For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.” –Audrey Hepburn.  I think we all need to take a long look in the mirror and see if we are content with what we are doing in our lives. I hope we can all be comfortable in the skin we are in. Trust me, after 19 years of living there is nothing more exciting than to finally say, I am! “I am beautiful no matter what they say, words can’t bring me down.” (Beautiful, Christina Aguilera)

Jordan Taylor Brown

February 2011, I met one of my best friends. As I look back on the last few months I realize how much I am going to miss him but almost instantly that feeling of hurt is healed because I know what he is going to do is the right thing. Best friends are hard to come by. But sometimes it felt like the two of us were two peas in a pod. Sometimes we would say the same things, make the same strange voices, or do the same obnoxious face like we were tuned into each others channels, completely on the same wavelength.  A simple smile, a chuckle, or even a handshake from him could make my day.  I love to laugh and I love being happy. I find so much joy in being around those people who bring about those feelings and actions. If I had a dime for every time I laughed with Jord…my gosh I would be living life large! We used to take walks, not just any kind of walks, like 7 mile walks. I mapped one out once and it was about 7.5 miles. These walks were always eventful, full of interesting conversation, tons of laughter, and crazy adventures! I truly came to understand his nickname “monkey” when he would constantly jump up on to anything that he could see. Through these walks I got to know the real Jord, I got to know his sweetness, his non-argumentative nature, his sense of humor, his strong sense for the gospel, his love of temples, his genuine compliments, his crazy voices and of course his love for volleyball!  Through the volleyball games, the long drives, the family dinners, the walks, the dates, and the tears I know without a doubt Jordan Taylor Brown has changed my life for the better. Who am I going to call when I have a bad day? Who am I going to make strange voices and faces with? I know that I will survive only because I know he is where he is supposed to be, preaching the gospel in El Salvador and Belize. He has inspired me to be better and stronger within the Gospel. Jordan Taylor I make you a promise while you are off serving the Lord and growing in the Gospel in El Salvador ,I will be working hard and doing the same in Provo, Utah. You are simply the best. I am so proud of my best friend. God Speed Elder Brown.  <3

Jord took a ballet class in college...haha my thoughts on this are obvious ;)

Mission call came!

Going to El Salvador and Belize!!

hence the monkey nickname :)

He picked me a bouquet of flowers one morning for breakfast.

My first off roading experience....CRAZY

Us.

We Might Not Have Any Money

Money. The world’s most stupidest (yes I said stupidest) invention. Granted if you have loads of it you aren’t too opposed to this invention, but if you are like me you loath the very idea of it. Whatever happened to trading?? Within this past year I quite literally understand the meaning of the phrase “poor college student”. One weekend I didn’t even have money to do my laundry…yes that’s like $1.50, six quarters. If it wasn’t for a kind hearted friend I would have had to wear my dirty laundry. After that incident I kind of felt helpless, I can’t even pay for my laundry?! Kind of pitiful, but wait it gets better. This fall I have to pay for a lot more than I did in previous years. I will be paying for housing, food, books, and as much tuition as I can with the money I have left. This worries me because I know that I am going to be saving every penny I have just to be able to pay for housing!! How am I going to pay for books or even food?! I have been stressing over this the entire summer. While normal summers are spent in blissful laziness this summer has been dedicated to money, work work work. Even with all the working that has happened I don’t have near enough money. If I had a lot of money my life would be different. I would be going to California this weekend, I would probably have a better tan cause I wouldn’t be indoors working all day, I would probably have those brown leather Sperry’s I’ve wanted for over a year, I probably would have to most beautifully detailed scrapbook in the state, and I would buy a new car (I don’t think mines gonna last much longer).  However…If I had money I wouldn’t understand its true value, I wouldn’t be working hard and spending wisely, I wouldn’t have made all these new amazing friends at work, I wouldn’t go through certain experiences that teach me and make me grow as a person. If we were to get everything we wanted nothing would be special. While I know there are going to be many stressful, moneyless weeks next year, some weeks where I won’t be able to eat as much as I would like, or even have to stay home some weekends because I can’t pay for the activity but that is ok. Life is so much easier when you look at the good than the bad. Just play the “glad game” (reference to Polyanna) Find the good in each situation not the bad, then life truly finds its happiness. As Ingrid Michaelson says "We might not have any money but we've got our love to pay the bills." Life is hard but keep lovin' and smilin' 

It's never a bad moment to shed a tear

Realization is a two way street. It can lead to happiness and excitement, or it could lead to doubt and sadness. Today I had a realization. Whether it was the happy one or the sad one, I am not going to convey. But I believe realizations are a gift and should be thought out and acted on if appropriate. I have been strangely emotional lately. Whether its lack of sleep, hormones, or I’ve just become a softy, I have cried almost daily. I cry at almost all movies. I cry at things people say. I cry at cute tv commercials. I cry when I see old people holding hands. I cry when I see the love of a mother. I cry when I see people with special needs. I cry and cry and cry. But that to me is not a bad thing. I believe I am taking after my granddad. He turned into a softy as he became older as well. He would cry when he saw us, he would cry as he would wave goodbye, he would cry when I played my harp, and he would cry as he was talking to me. The passion and love my granddad showed is greatly missed within my life. Now I cannot even think of my sweet granddad without tearing up. My realization has come. I have made up my mind. Life is going to change a bit. It will be hard but I know a special part of my granddad lives within my heart to guide me through. I may cry but I am strong. I may fall but I will always get back up. I may be sad but I know a smile is just around the corner. Life takes its twists and turns but that is called living. And I plan to live to my fullest. Cry away America, there is no shame in it.

Techno-logic

HELLO TECHNOLOGY! I have spent the past week on a cruise ship with no internet connection and cell phone service. While I thoroughly enjoyed my time away from technology (Facebook, cell phone, twitter, blogging, etc.) I felt strangely cut off from the world. Now that I am back in reality I am too afraid to open my facebook and email. Its to much of a hassle to respond to everyday life. I felt like I got a taste of what life was like before technology became a dependency. I will admit it, the less technology I had in my life the more stress free I felt. I would have loved to live in an era with no makeup, technology, and confusing hair tools. Where everything is natural!! Everyone accepting you for who you are not what you have or how you look. Sadly, I think those days are gone. The reason I was away from all technology was because I was on an Alaskan Disney Cruise. I thought it was going to be awful, I mean who wants to vacation to 50 degree weather?! Well I was thoroughly proved wrong. Definitely in my top 5 vacations! Everything was so green and gorgeous. One day when I’m filthy rich I will have a vacation home in Juneau, Alaska! (Ha me filthy rich….not going to happen) To make a long description short, it was amazing. I love my family and the time we all got to spend together. July is almost over and I still have plenty of things to cross off on my summer bucketlist! GET READY!! Live life in individual moments, soak in each detail, life will then become enjoyable. Goodbye to the high living of cruise life and hello reality. LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE. 

Miracles

  Jumbled. That is how I feel. I knew change was coming but now that its here I am not ready, far from ready. Tonight I saw the movie 17 Miracles. It’s a movie on the stories and miracles that happened during the journey of the Willie Handcart Company to Salt Lake. As I quietly sat through the movie I was touched on so many levels. There were miracles of love, not just any love like deep true love. There were miracles of healing. There were miracles of faith. I sat viewing all their hardships, seeing their pain in a padded comfy theater seat. Tears were undeniable. Who am I to live in Zion? There pioneers sacrificed their professions, their families, their possessions, their very lives to come to Zion to be with the saints. I could never imagine seeing friends, family, and neighbors drop dead because of harsh conditions, starvation, and exhaustion. Am I living my life in a way those saints would approve? I want to have faith as theirs. I want to have whole hearted devoted love like theirs. I want to have dedication and determination like theirs. I want to truly know as they did. I believe in miracles. They happen everyday and I am to naive and worldly to see them. I pray we may each open our eyes to see the daily miracles in our lives. Are we looking? Are we actively seeking? Be a person worthy of miracles, our scary worldly world could use more good people.

To Sink Or Not To Sink

As life takes its twists and turns one must learn to come out stronger. You get knocked down, you get beat, and you want to give up. It is at that point you must decide whether you will sink or swim. If you sink maybe you will get to see the fascinating sea creatures explore the deep dark places of the ocean blue. BUT you will eventually run out of air…AND SINK PERMANENTLY!!! (Dramatic, I know!) If you choose to swim you get to see the sun, moon, and the stars. You can swim to the different places and explore new cultures. My life hasn’t always been peaches and cream, in fact a lot of times it’s more like sour milk and pickles. Life has brought hurt, pain, sadness, heartache, tears, injury, illness, and exhaustion. But one thing I learned is never focus on the bad. Life has ALSO brought happiness, laughs, smiles, tears of joy, content, pride, excitement, and pure bliss! My friends, if there is on thing I have learned from my hardships is if you focus on the bad you will only continue on that path. If you find the good in even the worst situations you will always come out on top. We all need to more like the movie character Pollyanna and play the “Glad game”. So my dear readers remember, its summer, lets take a swim!

Ps. Kinda random but one of my new favorite songs: 

One Day I Will Know

My idea of true love is simple, I’m sitting in the passenger seat of a beater old car, and the 90 degree weather sun is shining bright! All the windows are rolled down and the winds blowin’ through my hair. The radio is blasting and I am belting the music, singing as loud and proud as I can (trust me that isn’t pretty) I look to my left and he is just smiling, completely happy and content being with me and my bad singing. Me (no makeup on, wearing shorts and a t-shirt) not feeling a bit self-conscious or stupid just being myself with someone who I know is being their complete selves with me. The next question that may enter your mind is where are we driving?? Well isn’t that the fun of this whole picture! Who knows?! I’m sure me and my true love will discover that one-day but as for know me and all you other curious readers will just have to wait a bit.

blingin rings, surprise kisses, and love for mothers

My favorite part of a wedding is when the father gets to share one last dance with his daughter before passing her off to her new husband. I always get so choked up watching the father look tenderly at his daughter, obviously reminiscing upon her growing up in his head. Then the excited new husband gets to sweep her off her feet to finish off the dance. I have always coveted the happiness you can see in newly weds eyes. Each of them knowing that they are official each other’s, no one else’s. Happy in the comfort of knowing the other loves them without a doubt. Love is powerful. Yes, I will openly admit to being a romantic. Romance novels, romantic comedies, and love poems always make me swoon. For me it is the unexpected affectionate touch, the unforeseen kiss, or the random wink that mean the most. The unplanned and unexpected show you they truly care for you. One of my all time favorite quotes on love is, “Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.’” To me true love is being atypical, spontaneous, and even a little crazy at times. While I feel nowhere near ready for marriage and have no plans of getting married in the next few years, I still look forward to the new happy times of married life. Remember to show love to those you care about, you never know when they may be gone. I think its funny how we never know we care about someone so much until they are gone. Lets break that trend, remember, “Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, that’s why it's called the Present” Today is Mothers Day, Happy Mother’s Day to all you wonderful mothers, but especially mine!

I love you mom, I always have and I always will. Remember dear readers: there is no love in this world unless we show it. Happy Mothers Day! 

Sincerely, The New Me.

I don’t open up to people. The truth is I rarely tell people my deepest desires, lowest times, or stories of many tearful nights. I have assumed the role of listener, I feel like I am a good listener, while I always can’t always relate I can always provide a shoulder to lean on or sincere advise. While my past has held many sleepless nights, shattered dreams, and streaming tears I cannot complain. Recently I have been thinking back through my life, while I am only 19 years old, I was surprised how much there was to look back on. I came to a sad realization. I have been going through life on my own. I avoid help, kindness, and advise from those whom are willing and wanting to help me through my life’s journey. I am determined to work on being more personable and open up to others. To kick off this new life of “open book” I want to share some of my dreams with you (bare with me I’m a helpless romantic). I want to fall desperately, head over heels, sleeplessly in love with someone who thinks they love me 10X more than I love them, someone who will be fine with being dirt poor just as long as they know we have each other’s love to carry us through to the next day. I want a dog, heaven help me if I fall deeply in love with a man who is a dog hater…oh wait I wont, I could never get over that! I want a house with flowers in my garden, I love flowers; flowers bring me untold happiness (especially tulips future husband!) I want to run the Boston marathon, yes; I am reaching for the stars! I want children, to love something more than your own life has always sounded appealing to me! As I am listing just a few of my many dreams for this lifetime I am smiling. Have you smiled today? Enjoy your life, let others in, life is a journey not a ride, remember, sometimes we have to hike up mountains to get to the pretty views.

Blurb of my Brain

Some people ask me, “why have a blog when you have facebook? It seems pointless.” My dears, it may be a problem if you really can’t tell the difference between a blog and facebook…I’m a little worried. I love my blog because it gives me a chance to type my feelings or thoughts that pop into my head. I really could care less if anyone reads my blog, it’s mainly for me, giving myself an opportunity to unwind and type. I really enjoy writing. It’s a secret pleasure of mine. I am scared for tomorrow. First off, I am taking my Book of Mormon final, I. Hate. Finals. Secondly I get my blood work back tomorrow. I have been having health complications the past few months; it’s starting to scare me. Isn’t it a doctor’s job to know what’s wrong with you?? What am I supposed to do if they haven’t been able to find out, for all I know I could be dying. K, that was a little dramatic, I am not dying…hopefully. Made some new friends this week, made me excited for Spring semester! Right now I am in the best mood, for two reasons: 1. I am currently eating a strawberry shake, one of my all time favorite treats. 2. I am listening to Christmas music. You ask why?? Because I want to. 250 days until Christmas, but hey its not like anyone is counting or anything, and no I did not just spend like 5 minutes counting that….Happy Finals week everyone, may we all come out alive.

Bulging Hearts

I will be the first to admit that girls are emotional. I have never felt more like a girl in my life. I feel like Seattle, Washington. A melting pot of cultures cramped into one city that is full of life, potential, dreams, and hope. Of course instead of a melting pot of cultures I have a melting pot of emotions cramped into my little fist sized heart. A heart of confusion, waves of confusion that flow between my heart and my mind. I sit here typing away on my Mac contradicting every thought that runs through my head, and it’s driving me absolutely insane. These upcoming weeks will be weeks of change. Changes I know I am not ready or prepared for. My room is dark and its way past my bedtime. Why am I still up? As I sit and reflect on my life, it has been good but I can do things to make it great. Have you ever seriously pondered the question, what am I doing with my life?? Its time for a wakeup call! No more hitting the snooze. I know that there are definite changes ahead but how I go about them and adjust will make or break such changes. These next few weeks could set me out on a different path in life. Its time to decide whom me is. My heart’s still pumping; I guess that’s a good sign. Life comes and goes fast, don’t sit back and watch.  

Mr. Sunshine

Today I had my regular Tuesday commute to Salt Lake, its starting to get old. Maybe its getting so old because I drive up by myself...BORING!! Not only is driving up to SLC boring because I go alone, but it inhibits me from driving in the carpool lane. I am uncontrollably jealous of this convenient feature, for those lucky enough to have two passengers, on the way home. While I sit in rush hour traffic, the lucky carpoolers speed pass me without the slightest hint of sympathy. While these commutes are becoming more and more dreaded it provides me plenty of time to listen to my music. It has made me realize how important music is to me. It truly influences me. Lately I have been on a Ingrid Michaelson kick. I LOVE her. Her music provides peace and comfort to my nerves, especially as I impatiently sit in traffic. I am what some call music bipolar. I got through phases in my music. Before Ingrid I was on a hard core Rap kick, before that country, and before that Michael Buble. I don't exactly know how those all connect to each other, especially in that order, but I love it. I love loving all walks of music, I can literally listen to anything! I love discovering new music, seeing how it translates into my life and influences the happenings within me. These past few weeks have been wonderful. Whether it has been the music I've been listening to or the people I have been with. Whichever, I hope it continues. The sun was shining today, I love it when the sun shines. Sunny places make me happy and I love being happy!! So shine away Mr. Sunshine, the people of Provo could use more smiles. Live, laugh, and love. Life is worth living.

Love 364 days

Yes I know. This was not posted on February 14, the day of love. There are methods to my madness! I am not going to lie, I love Valentines Day and while I have never actually have had a legit Valentine, but that doesn’t change my view of the holiday! I think it’s absolutely adorable when guys give their lovers flowers, balloons, or especially chocolates (Lindor chocolate preferably J) The girls reactions are the best. Not that I just creep around all day spying on everyone’s love fests….however, the girls faces are the best! While I do love this holiday I also hate it. I hate how harsh girls are to themselves on this day. Just because they don’t have some guy delivering them flowers and such doesn’t mean they aren’t loved! Hearing things like, “I woke up this morning crying,” or “love is stupid, it should die” or yes even, “Im a loner…and I always will be!” make me wonder if we understand the true meaning of the holiday. 

Yes it is most definitely the holiday of love but I believe it’s a little more general, it’s a holiday meant for recognizing all things we love! Family, friends, animals, cars, crafts, music, art…whatever we love we should show our love for it!  So I would like to take this time and show my love, for the things I love!

Family: I love you all with all of my heart! I could not imagine being apart of any other family! You have all had such a major impact in my life! Always supporting me in my new adventures and staying positive! Thanks for putting up with my weird personality and me! I love you to the moon and back!

Friends: What would I do without you?! I love thinking about all the crazy, funny, sad, unforgettable times we have had! The great late night talks, the spastic adventures, and of course the heart to hearts! I care about you all so much!! Whenever in need of someone, I have your back!!

Track: Thank you for pushing me to my potential! I feel like I am just hitting the outer circles of that potential but I absolutely love you and am willing to work to reach the center! I never thought I would love this sport so much but I have grown to love it unconditionally! While I am still very new to it and I honestly don’t know what good times are, or what certain terms are, I am learning! Thanks for helping me gain the confidence in myself to do hard things.

Dogs: yes….I love dogs. Although I never had a dog, I have learned a lot from that experience. While I have used 11:11 wishes and birthday candle wishes wishing for a dog as long as I can remember, I learned something very important! Having a dog has been a lifelong wish. I know that one day I will have a dog because I want it soooooo bad! If you want something bad enough you will be willing to put in the work required to achieve your wishes! Dogs and I have a special connection, I have cried in every dog movie known to man, from Lassie Come Home to My Dog Skip. Dogs of the world, I love you! I will one day own one of you!

The Gospel: I honestly have no idea where I would be without you. I owe you everything, quite literally everything good in my life. My love is unconditional. 

I love, love! Yes, I believe in love! Lets all try to remember love should be shown all year not just once! We all deserve to know we are loved! Just know, you are. Love is in the air….all year round!! XOXO

Dirty shoes.

I believe....in dirty shoes. There is something satisfying about slipping your feet into a well worn pair of shoes. Lets face it, I’m a shoe-aholic but I absolutely hate breaking in new shoes. To me shoes tell a story. The brand, color, and make of the shoe all tell me something about the person wearing them. Everyone has their own shoe style whether they like to admit it or not. They may wear heels everyday, like a girl I knew in Jr. High, I personally don’t believe in putting my feet through that kind of torture. Some strictly wear sandals, whether sunshine or snow, sandals are the way to go…that to me is crazy, nothing more attractive than a strappy tan line across your foot. I contradict my shoe style so much I confuse myself. I will obsess over a different style every few months, unfortunately being a poor college student I can’t always indulge in my wants. Through the years my shoe obsession has kept my shoe collection well stocked. I have 8 pair of heels, have 7 colors of vans, 3 colors of toms (soon to be 4 when I get some expected money!), 1 pair of converse, 1 pair of boots, a collection of sandals and flats, and my newest edition…my pair of gorgeous leather Oxfords!!  While I have all these shoes I often feel like a wasteful person.  As I get ready in the morning and look at my collection of shoes, my hand immediately goes for my black Toms, a staple in my shoe diet. These Toms are beginning to turn from black to gray, the soles are wearing down, and holes are beginning to appear. Most would toss them insignificantly in the trash realizing fully that there purpose has been served and their life is over. Me….I cant let them go. I have to many great memories in them, 1^st day of college, dancing in the rain, hot tubing, hobbit-ville, Gateway, insane dances, making new friends, hot cocoa, night games, hours of studying in the library, happy times, sad times, crazy times, tearful times. They have molded to my feet, when I put them on they fit exact. Their not my friends, my families, but mine. These shoes are filled with memories. So yes, I believe in dirty worn shoes. It’s a symbol of living. Going through each day step by step. As Bill Murray said while playing his wonderful role as Bob, baby steps.  I prefer taking life a step at a time. Enjoy whats around you, wear out your shoes with adventure! Lets all take baby steps together, taking each step in the mud to get those shoes worn and dirty!

What??

Yes, I am starting a blog. Kind of random, i know, however this idea came to me a few weeks ago and I can no longer resist! My amazing Honors English professor assigned us to write a paper on one thing I believe in. My mind began endlessly pouring out things I believe in. Yes there are the obviously things in my life that I obviously believe in however, those are not the things I will be writing about. I believe in believing in the small things.

Yes my brain is random. Yes, there will be random things I believe in...however, if I don't pay attention to the small things, then who will? The things I believe are constantly swirling in my head and the only way to escape from insanity is to write them...well type them. I enjoy writing for my own joy. I hope you will enjoy them to. So here it goes my first blog post...

I believe...in believing. This seems like a simple enough belief but, upon pondering I have found that it is not. Believing in something can be a hard thing. Knowing how much to believe in something can be tricky to interpret. You want to believe in something enough so that it can change yours or others lives. You also don't want to believe in something too much or it could result in leaving you broken and alone. Yes that seems drastic but sometimes when believing in something, things must turn drastic. I believe in believing because believing gives me something that is mine. A belief is something that I can make my own and personalize to my liking. Believing is not seeing, but seeing is believing. So take a moment from your jam-packed lives and think, What do you believe in?